2 min read

Ep. 16 - Saying no.

"If it's not a HELL YES, then it's a no"

Every guru loves to tell the world to ‘say no’ more. Say no and free up space for what truly matters. They tout that saying no provides more opportunities as it creates space to do the things we love and pursue our passions.

But I call bullshit. Saying no is hard.

It’s daunting. I feel insecure about it, and I feel as though I’m letting people around me down when I do. This is why I say yes to almost everything. Especially work-related tasks and requests. Does a client need something done on a tight timeline? I’m your guy. Are they assigning the work of two people to me? Sure, I’ll do it. And I’ll race around to see family, friends, and acquittances all because I fear saying no.

But it’s a trap. It can completely overwhelm us with responsibilities and commitments that we actually don’t want to do, nor do we have time for. No wonder everyone is walking around exhausted and sad. They’re saying yes to everything that passes them by.

But, are the Guru’s right?

This pains me, but I think they are. I think saying no does free up space. I think it does lead to healthier lives, healthier relationships, and healthier commitments to our careers and/or businesses. It’s just not that easy. You can't flip a switch. It takes time and practice.

For example, this is the thought process that goes through my head when I say no (which is not often enough).

- Is it reasonable for me to say no?

- Will I lose this client?

- Will I lose all my clients?

- Will I be out of business?

It sounds dramatic, and admittedly it is. But this is how it goes, and this is why I struggle to say no. However, I’m starting to make a conscious effort to say no to things that I’m not all in on. Derek Sivers has a great e-book on this.  His theory is that if it’s not a HELL YES, then it’s a no. No matter what it is. Dinner with friends, a new client, or another work event. It’s all the same. If it’s taking away from your goals and desires than it’s likely not worth it.

Final Thoughts

I’m going to try this 'HELL YES, or no' strategy moving forward. I’m going to attempt to relinquish my fears of ‘losing it all’ by saying no. I’ve slowly started this week and it’s honestly been liberating. And guess what, I'm still around and so is my business.

If you have any strategies or thoughts on this subject, I’d love to hear from you. Shoot me an email at hello@matttompkins.me

Thanks for reading and happy saying no.