Ep. 22 - Most people do, what most people do [3 / 5]

Over the next five weeks I’ll be doing something a little different. I'm shifting away from the quick, actionable posts to more robust and philosophical articles. The reason behind this pivot is two-fold. First, I don't think there is enough content covering the interconnectedness of work, life, and hereditary adaptations. Second, the actionable lists, motivational posts, and general 'get it done' attitude conveyed in many of my posts doesn't work for all. For some it's daunting and frustrating. So, with that being said it's my goal to shed more light on why I hold such strong beliefs in many aspects of work, and life. This stems from much of the reading I've done on stoicism, history, and the human body. As for the title, well, most people do, what most people do...

Most people

• 38% of marriages end in divorce.
• The average Canadian household owes $1.71 for every dollar they earn.
• Pre-pandemic Canadians saved an average of 1.38% of disposable income.
• 20% of Canadians don't pay off their credit card balance.
• The majority of people hate their jobs (my own interpretation).
• Common thought: "You should spend 3 months' salary on the engagement ring."

These are alarming stats of 'most people' in Canada. The majority of people follow a script. The script has been laid out, and crammed down our throats for generations. It's a system of control that creates a predictable social contract. And when individuals go off script, society instantly attempts to push them back to equilibrium.

The script goes as follows; we are supposed to finish high-school, attend university or college (or enter a trade), get a job, climb the corporate ladder, get married, buy a house, finance two cars, and have children. All before we turn thirty. But clearly, the script isn't working. We've never been more anxious, stressed, depressed, and sleep-deprived than we are right now.

So why do we keep trudging down this path? Why do we keep doing the things we're supposed to do when they're not working? The current script is broken. It's time we realize these mistakes. It's time we go off script, and live authentically.

I understand that people are okay with the status-quo. They don't mind having average relationships, floating debt, and keeping up with the Jones's. Why? It's easy.

But I truly don't understand that. Why settle? Why have an average relationship when you can have an amazing relationship? Why put yourself through an average job for forty years instead of pursuing a passion? It's because the status-quo is easy. No one questions it. We hear, "well that's just life."

Well, that won't be, and isn't, my life. And it doesn't have to be yours either.

Swimming against the current

Going off-script is challenging. We get questioned from friends and family, and we face constant societal pressure. But the greatest feats in life are achieved when we swim against the current, carve our own path, and actively build our life. Actively building my life is something I think about everyday. It's a practice I put hours of work into each week. I know the person I want to be, so I do the things that person would do. It's actually quite simple, but harder in practice. It takes diligent work, and lots of it.

I don't want my marriage to end (disclaimer; I'm not married). I don't want to owe more than I earn. I want to save 75% of my income, not 1.38%. And I want to pay off my credit card in full every month. I want to love what I do, not wake up every morning dreading the day, and living for the weekend. Alterations are made in my daily habits in order for these goals to come to fruition.  

I've received numerous questions in the past from friends and family; when are you getting engaged? When are you buying a house? When will you settle down? Why don't you buy a new car? Well, my partner and I will get engaged when the time is right, I don't care about owning a house, my car is fine, and I've never understood the concept of 'settling down'. When this occurs, I usually have the same response for everything; *awkward laughter* "when the time is right". For the vast majority, this is swimming against the current, going off script, and largely incomprehensible.

Begin to question common principles. For most, I think you'll come to realize there is more optionality in life than we appreciate. There are off-script options that far exceed the common. Think about the most amazing people you know - whether it be the most successful financially, the fittest, or someone who retains the best relationships. I guarantee they do life differently. They swim against the current.

Ignoring the Signals

There are numerous signals in life. It's common to think that one should be graduated university by twenty-two, married with children before they're thirty, $100k salary by thirty, and so on. But this is just noise. Many people go to university when they're twenty-five, or don't go at all, and their life is amazing. Many people marry when they're forty (or never) and have children when they want. And, many people build companies, bleed cash for years, and then sell it for one big win as opposed to chasing that addictive (and toxic) salary.

Ignoring the signals ultimately comes down to less comparison. Comparison is mentally exhausting, and ultimately a killer. It creates jealousy, which in turn creates unhappiness.

Don't be most people

The majority of our population walks around zombified everyday of the week. They wake up, have a quick breakfast, hop on the bus, arrive at a job they don't like, 'work' for 8 hours, go home, order take-out, watch TV, go to bed, rinse, and repeat. Then we wonder why we're anxious, depressed, and unfulfilled. Well, look at the script. The script sucks.

Don't be most people. Live authentically. Find what makes you tick, and double down on it. Live a contrarian lifestyle.