Ep. 40 - New Year [new you?]
New Year's resolutions are a blessing and a curse. I'd argue for most people they're likely more of a curse than a blessing. However, whether we like it or not, mainstream media loves them - as do Instagram influencers and your Twitter echo chamber. Maybe it's the hope of a brighter future, or society's relentless idea of what a functioning human should look like. Regardless, we love goals, resolutions, and the potential for 'change'.
However, the issue with New Year's resolutions are bountiful. Partly because we pick this arbitrary time to set new goals (who really cares if it's January 1st or October 14th), and we pick goals that we think we want, but in reality, they're other people's dreams and desires. Typically, resolutions look something like this:
- Run a marathon (or some goal to exercise more or start exercising).
- Get promoted (or some goal surrounding career aspiration).
- Reach $xxx net worth (or some goal on budgeting/finances).
- Spend more time with 'x' (or some goal requiring us to spend more time with friends, family, our partner).
And the list goes on.
These are classic New Year's resolutions, of which > 90% fail. People reverting back to their baseline is actually the most consistent thing that happens every year.
Here, I'll attempt to debunk the historical process for setting resolutions and goals, which will shed light on why we fail. In the process, I'll recommend a new, more sustainable approach to setting goals (I think, at least).
Do you even like running?
This question can also take form in: do you even like your career? Do you want that promotion? Do you enjoy spending time with your current friends/family? Do you want to penny-pinch?
We set these aspirational goals without even asking ourselves what we actually want from a first principles standpoint. If you hate running, then why would you set a goal to run a marathon? If you actually don't care too much about your career, and rather enjoy your time away from work, then why not optimize for that (i.e., pursue a roll with less responsibility, less hours)?
This is my first issue with most New Year's resolutions - people pick arbitrary goals they actually don't want to achieve. It's either what they feel they should achieve (societal pressure) or virtue signaling (look at me with all these outlandish goals). But this doesn't help you. It will just make you feel like sh*t come January 1, 2023.
Running a marathon is f*cking hard.
Second, goals are often set with no thought into how we'll actually achieve them. Training for a marathon isn't just running 40+km one time, it's months of training, proper diet and recovery, and a love for running.
Thus, you can really love running, and want to achieve this goal but without proper habits you'll never achieve it. Goals are not achieved through some miracle. Goals are achieved through mundane, repetitive, and often exhausting tasks. If it's pouring rain, dark, middle of February, and your alarm goes off at 6am for your 15km run - will you do it? Without proper habits and true desire (not societal pressure or virtue signaling) will you actually do it?
Create habits --> Achieve goals.
Priority > Priorities.
"The word priority came into the English language in the 1400s. It was singular. It meant the very first or prior thing. It stayed singular for the next five hundred years. Only in the 1900s did we pluralize the term and start talking about priorities." - Greg McKeown
Determine your Priority. Focus on one goal, learn the habits, and move onto the next. Having too many competing priorities and 'to-do's' will ultimately lead to achieving nothing and doing 'fake work'. Do the real work. Focus on your number one priority, then move on to the next.
Remember, priority > priorities.
Stop virtue signaling & be free.
Setting these generic goals will make you feel trapped. It will make you feel tied to this being that you aren't. Set goals that you want to achieve. Not what your partner wants to achieve, or what your parents want to achieve, or what your friends want to achieve.
A great example is this: we all know reading is beneficial - thus, we often see New Year's Resolutions like, "I am going to read 24 books this year." Great, but 24 books is a lot. And have you even read a full book since The Outsiders in Grade 8? Why not attempt to read just one book. Begin the process of learning to love to read before embarking on some arbitrary and outlandish goal. Read one book, understand it well, and move on.
Closing.
There is a lot of literature on goal setting. People speak of 'SMART' goals [Specific Measurable Attainable Realistic Timely] and other 'best practices' for goal-setting. But I don't think any of this matters unless you actually want these things - a burning desire.
Pick one or two goals for 2022 that you truly want, and you'll achieve them. Remove the nonsensical ones and you'll also be free.
If you've picked resolutions for 2022 based on someone else's ideals, then stop. It's only January 7th. Do what you want this year, not what everyone else is doing.