Ep. 5 - It's OK to quit

Quitting has turned into such a taboo concept.

It carries a negative connotation and we often feel guilt, shame, and disappointment when even think about quitting. Why is this? Why are we so afraid and ashamed of ourselves when we even consider quitting our careers, sports, or relationships?

My answer? Ego. Our ego will keep us places that don't serve us, and it will take us on a path that's no where near connected to our authentic self. Ultimately, 'what we do' becomes so tied up in our ego that we can't quit. It is our identifier. We are an 'accountant', a 'lawyer', an 'athlete'. We tie our self-worth to these descriptions and then it becomes extremely challenging to unhinge from it all.

However, quitting resulted in the two best decisions I've ever made. They came from letting go of the ego and trusting my own ability, and ultimately, becoming antifragile.

Quitting my pursuit of Major League Baseball

From my first memory, up until I was 19, this is all I did. I worked on becoming the best baseball player possible. Everyday. And, it provided more opportunities, and taught me more about myself, the process of winning, and hard work than anything in my life. I was blessed to be on great teams throughout my entire career. From age five to 19 I was never on a losing team. Maybe some luck, but also unwavering dedication. I'm extremely grateful for all the places it took me throughout North America and the entrance it granted me into a top University.

But, one year into my College baseball career I quit. It shocked my family, friends, and even myself to a certain extent. Everyone kept asking why? Why throw it away?

Here is why I quit and why I didn't throw ANY of it away.

I faced the brutal facts. The chances of me playing professional baseball were becoming slim. There is still a small part of me that thinks I could have made a run, but that is mainly my ego. It was ultimately not in the cards and I accepted that. Also, I was in University but not really in it. I wasn't experiencing anything new. I was still hanging out with the same type of guys I had since I was five. Great people - but I wanted something new.

Second, I could only take courses from 9am - 1pm (morning workouts from 6-7:30am and then we were on the field from 1 - 6pm - everyday). When I looked out four years I honestly had no idea what to expect. It made me nervous, and I didn't want to spend six or seven years earning my undergraduate degree, while piling on student debt. I felt trapped.

So I quit. It was painful. My entire identity was tied to being a baseball player. And a good one at that. It gave me a lot of my confidence. It provided my edge. There is nothing I loved more than being on the mound in a stressful game. I loved the pressure. It was addictive. It was where I found my ultimate flow. And now, I had none of it. I had none of that burn. So I needed to go find it. And this is what opened so many doors.

I started taking courses I actually wanted to take. I met new people, I could play different sports (we weren't allowed to play other sports, or even go snowboarding for that matter while on the college team.) This variety ultimately led me to spending six-months in Sweden on exchange, which is still a major highlight in my life. And something I never even dreamed of growing up.

Quitting is not always bad. Quitting creates space. Quitting forces you to face the brutal facts. Quitting can be an extremely valuable move in your life.

Leaving a 'Big Four' firm

The second time I quit something major was more recent. It was back in August 2020. This was not the same feeling as baseball. I didn't have the same passion and desire to be the best. But, I still had the same obstacles when quitting. I still battled the same ego that told me to stay 1,000 times before pulling the trigger.

It's amazing how quickly we get labeled. "Matt is an accountant at a big firm. He has his CPA." When people would introduce me like this, I would cringe. Partly because I didn't connect with that portion of me at all, and partly because I actually liked having that label (not sure which was worse). It made me feel successful. It sounded like I was making lots of money (not the case). So it was easy. It was easy to go along with it. And I can see how people remain in a career such as that. Steady progression, potential to earn a lot, and a prestigious brand that 99% of people can recognize. This completely feeds the ego.

When I quit, I wasn't quitting to go to another top tier company like many of my peers. I was doing something that a lot of people thought was stupid. I could almost hear it through their facial expressions; 'what the fuck is he doing??'

But, similar to quitting baseball, quitting my pursuit at the firm and avoiding another 'top' company, opened more doors than I could have ever imagined. Nine months later and I have never felt better. I have never felt more connected to my work. And I have never felt more pride. I get to do things like this (i.e., write). I get to grow a business. I get to coach new employees. I get to work with amazing clients that are making a difference in their communities.  The money that has followed is just a byproduct.

It was the best decision of my life.

And that is the main premise of this article. Sometimes quitting is the best decision you can ever make. Don't think of it as letting people down, or letting yourself down, think of it as freeing yourself. Think of it as finally pursuing your dreams.

Reframe it - quitting is great.

Thanks for reading. If you liked this, please share with friends/family, or anyone it may help ✌